Chapter 22: Don't Think Twice, It's Alright

A week after I joined OKCupid I was receiving more attention than I could manage, which I had heard was common for women. Within a week there were several men with whom I was corresponding, but one I was particularly excited about. I was extremely attracted to him, for one thing, and intrigued by his description of himself. I liked his messages. His intelligence was striking, and he had many cultivated interests. We made a lunch date for the plainest day of the plainest month, a Tuesday in January.

I found parking in front of the Seattle Art Museum, less than a block from the restaurant, which I decided must be a good omen. I was early for once. My date didn’t seem like the kind of man that suffered flighty women showing up late for a first date. I’m not sure what about his messages gave me that impression, but he struck me as exacting.

I was nervous as could be but didn’t bother with yoga breathing the way I did when I met Jack. Since Vox died, I had largely withdrawn from any spiritual practice. My interests in yoga had narrowed to the physical, to what it did for my body.

I was still in my car texting Jack that I was on my way to my date when a form fluttered in my peripheral vision. A white BMW convertible had been parked in front of my SUV. Its driver was moving between our vehicles toward the meter. My date. I gasped, hand to mouth, enthralled.

With shallow breath and my stomach rolling somersaults, I paid for my parking, said a quick prayer to the Universe of Gods and Whatever, and made the walk from my car to the restaurant door, where I knew he was waiting for me. I felt awkward for no reason as I walked in and saw him immediately, looking down at his phone. For reasons I didn’t understand at the time, my steps toward him felt painfully self-conscious. When I stood before him at last, he looked up. I kissed him on the lips, startling myself. He was unfazed.